August 23, 2016

FEAR

I have had a very weird couple of weeks. Just ask Maggie. Almost daily I am sending her some sort of message essentially relaying that I am feeling a bit lost. Unsure of my goals, my progress, my wants and desires. Some days I just don’t know. About anything. About being a spouse or parenting or running a business or being a good friend. Some days I just don’t know. Thankfully I have a friend I can babble to, sometimes she digs it out of me, sometime she doesn’t. Either way her friendship, especially at this point in my life is invaluable. Also, to be transparent. I am writing this post while sitting in the bathroom with my toddler. She only gets to use her “computer” during potty time. So anytime I touch mine, suddenly she remembers “ I go potty.” She rarely actually potties. But that is another story […]
August 21, 2016

i lost the why.

everyone begins their journey. and everyone embarks on their journey. not everyone finishes. but what happens when you do finish? well, that’s a question that i wish i had planned for in this journey. i am not saying i am finished. i am not saying i have achieved irreversible [badassery]. but i set a goal, and i made it. i wanted to reach a certain level of fitness after childbirth, and i did. so, like every good coach, i made a new list of goals. around the time i felt like i “finished” with my postpartum goals, i wrote new ones. measurable, attainable, goals. and i even threw in some emotional and spiritual components as well. 1. squat 200 2. deadlift 300 3. squat snatch 125 4. squat clean and jerk 160 5. sub 8min mile 6. complete 27health&wellness 8 week nutrition challenge 7. compete in 3 crossfit competitions 8. tour […]
April 28, 2016

life got in the way.

normal life is no joke. we all acknowledge the weight of the chaotic times and the tumultuous times, but let’s just all take a second and agree – normal life is no joke either. what’s for dinner? when can i workout? whose text did i forget to respond to? what’s snapchat and how do i use it? when did my kid last have a bath? did you feed the dog? where’s my to-do list? can i squeeze in a car wash today? how many unread emails am i going to find when i turn on my computer? why didn’t i hit a pr today? i’m not done… is their laundry in the washer? are there enough snacks to pack for my kid’s lunch? where am i in my macro count today? how much money is in the bank account? and are all the bills paid? how long can i go without mopping […]
March 22, 2016

fear.

a wise friend [like, the super-wise-you-know-God-put-them-here-just-for-you friend] once told me… if your fear is too strong, your faith needs to be stronger. gut check, right? now… go ahead and respond like i did. get defensive… get even more defensive… soul search… and then realize he was right. he was so right. now, let me add a disclaimer before i go on. there is nothing wrong with fear. like the movie inside out taught my daughter, fear’s job is to protect us. it’s very darwinian, but fear does have a place in making sure we don’t live recklessly and carelessly. when fear becomes not so good is when fear takes the place of living. fear becomes a problem when it stands as a wall against your journey. so let’s go back to that quote… “if your fear is too strong, your faith needs to be stronger”. if you’re still feeling a bit defensive, go […]