March 14, 2017

God didn’t change my heart.

while spending a cuddly afternoon with my oldest, i said to her… lucy. did you know i love you? and that you are so special because you made me a mommy? here i thought… what a fulfilling thing to say. i know she loves words of affirmation and feeling special, so this just seemed like the perfect thing to help my five year old feel like top dog. i smiled from ear to ear with that #momwin. her response? no mommy, God mad you a mommy. mic drop. silence. and embarrassment. i was just outsmarted and out-theologized by a five year old. God made me a mommy. and God made me in his image [Genesis 1:27]. God did not take twenty-six year old maggie who said she “didn’t want kids” and just change her. from the moment i was created He knew my heart and how full it was for […]
January 3, 2017

missing christmas

christmas lights are my favorite. i used to love riding around as a kid during the christmas season and looking at all the beautiful, twinkling lights on everyone’s homes. it was as if everyone decided that no matter what had happened from february to november, we were all in agreement that life was good. and love was real. and good things were coming. and even when santa became a symbol and presents became practical, it remained magical. each and every light, each and every christmas carol. this year, however, i felt the magic of christmas shift ever so quickly. i don’t know if i am getting older and this is just part of it, or if it is a sign of the changing times. but all of the sudden, we started ignoring the twinkling lights and carols and started focusing on the goals of the new year. the joy of the magical season was […]
November 3, 2016

you’re here now.

every body likes a good story. especially the shocking kind, or the inspiring kind, or even the belly-laughing funny kind. sharing our stories is how we bond. stories are how the next best thing to having someone into your home, it’s a sharing of the intimate, embarrassing, real, raw, and encouraging moments of our lives. let’s take this even deeper. stories help define us. they’re something we experience and something we hold close. they are a deep and intricate part of our lives. stories helped bring us to where we are. but, hear me out for a minute. what if we stopped letting our story define us? this whole idea of what defines us has been all in my mind lately… in fact, there are three half-written blogs on the topic. as humans, how we define ourselves and/or how others define us can have such a huge effect. it can impact how we […]
August 23, 2016

FEAR

I have had a very weird couple of weeks. Just ask Maggie. Almost daily I am sending her some sort of message essentially relaying that I am feeling a bit lost. Unsure of my goals, my progress, my wants and desires. Some days I just don’t know. About anything. About being a spouse or parenting or running a business or being a good friend. Some days I just don’t know. Thankfully I have a friend I can babble to, sometimes she digs it out of me, sometime she doesn’t. Either way her friendship, especially at this point in my life is invaluable. Also, to be transparent. I am writing this post while sitting in the bathroom with my toddler. She only gets to use her “computer” during potty time. So anytime I touch mine, suddenly she remembers “ I go potty.” She rarely actually potties. But that is another story […]